8 Steps to Achieve Advanced Aging

They say 40 is the new 20, but I say 40 can be the new 65 if you believe in yourself and put minimal effort into your daily routine. Stop spending your money on anti-aging serums and Botox, and start cashing in on seniors discounts and afternoon naps.

People have been asking me for years what my secret is to advanced aging, and I’m finally ready to share these coveted tips with you:

1. Be mindful of the 4 basic food groups:  chocolate, booze, diet pop and pizza. Aim for 75% of your daily calories to come from sugar and carbohydrates, the other 25% should be bacon grease and salt.

2. Sun Exposure- get enough daily rays to roast yourself like a turkey. Your goal should be skin that looks like a leather Nutella purse. 

3. Water- AVOID that shit at all costs, it tastes awful and it’s unnecessary. Water is to plants as booze is to your body.

4. Caffeine- consume it in various forms all day long: coffee, tea, pop, chocolate….get optimal results by having it injected directly into your veins via IV if possible.

5. Sleep- is for losers, limit it to under 5 hours a night, TOPS: you’ll sleep when you’re dead! (Which will be even sooner if we stick to these 8 laws regularly.)

6. Stress- increase your daily stress levels to at least 110%. If you’re not under constant stress, you’re going to keep that youthful glow we are trying to avoid.  Need more stress in your life? Spend a few hours at a kid’s play place on a Saturday after pumping sugar into your children’s veins.

7. Exercise- don’t bother, you’ll want to spend the majority of your day on your ass or back; it’s best if you can avoid all strenuous activities including walking and standing.

8. Anger management-  Channel your inner psycho and just rage, baby.  You’re Eminem and the world is your angry rap album. You’re Clark Griswold and you just found out you got a membership to the jelly of the month club instead of a Christmas bonus.
We need to permanently engrave those anger lines into your face (just try not to get arrested in the process. )

You only live once, but if you follow these steps, before you know it you’ll be living your best life in a nursing home and wearing diapers while someone feeds you soft foods.

Peace, love and zero fucks. Get it Granny!

 

YQG Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

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It’s officially February, and Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Are you feeling stuck for gift ideas? Well look no further, because we have rounded up some of our favourite places to shop locally, so you can find a unique gift and feel good about supporting your community at the same time. (Click photos to enlarge.)

❤Gifts that pamper
Lashes, brows, and tans, oh my! Give the gift that keeps on giving with one of these pampering services they’re sure to appreciate.

LUX BROWS

Tanya Macri is the professional brow artist behind Windsor’s most beautiful microbladed brows, and Lux Brows is the first salon in the area to offer the hottest new non-surgical skin tightening procedure known as Plasma Skin Tightening. Give your lady the gift of perfect skin, a lash lift, or brows that are on point! Check out her website for more information on pricing and services and to book a service or purchase gift cards.
Photo of Tanya by: Eryn Shea Photography

facebook.com/luxbrowsonpoint
luxbrows.mysalononline.com
Instagram.com/luxbrows_on_point

BEACH BUM SPRAY TANNING

 

Get your glow on and banish those winter blues! Vegan, organic and safe, UV-free spray tanning is the best way to get bronzed any time of year. Book online, @mindbodyonline.com or stop by 13126 Tecumseh Rd East to pick up a Gift Certificate for that special someone.

www.beachbumorganicspraytanning.com
www.facebook.com/beachbumspraytanning
www.instagram.com/beachbumspraytanningwindsor

RESTORE MASSAGE THERAPY

Give the gift of relaxation this Valentine’s Day with Restore Massage Therapy, which is
conveniently located at 1614 Ottawa Street. Call 519 -256-6464 to book an appointment, or pop in to pick up a Gift Certificate.

www.facebook.com/restoremassagetherapyandwellness
www.instagram.com/restoremassagetherapy
519-256-6464

BROOKE ELIZABETH MAKEUP ARTIST AND XTREME EYELASH EXTENSION STLYIST

She’ll be batting her lashes at you for days when you purchase her a set of beautiful eyelash extensions from Brooke Elizabeth Make Up Artist / Xtreme Eyelash Extension Stylist, a home-based business in Amherstburg. Text for an appointment or to arrange to purchase a gift certificate, or get in touch on social media.

519-816-1222
https://www.facebook.com/brookeelizabethmua/
Instagram.com/brookeelizabeth_mua

YOUNIQUE MAKEUP BY ERIKA

The ultimate girl boss, Erika does nails, raises babies, makes cheesecakes, sells Younique and still finds time to be a promoter and encourager of other lady bosses! Check out these gorgeous new lip shades for the perfect Valentine’s date night pucker. Contact Erika for all of your makeup needs, and keep in touch on social media to see what promotions and customer kudos she has going on each month.

www.mzdivanailznlashes.com
www.instagram.com/mzdiva_nailz

❤Handmade gifts, made with love ❤
Support your local artists and crafters this Valentine’s Day and purchase a unique gift that your loved one is sure to admire.

EVB JEWELRY

 

Every Event Boutique is a local handmade business that distributes a stunning line of jewelry and fashion accessories that can be purchased online, in person, or through home parties. You will find a fabulous and fashionable selection of jewelry for every taste and any budget on their website. Check out their beautiful line of “Be Mine” Valentine’s Day jewelry available in their Etsy shop, we totally heart it!

www.facebook.com/EVBJewelry
www.etsy.com/ca/shop/evbjewelry
www.instagram.com/evbjewelry

A CUP OF PRETTY

An Amherstburg based home business, A Cup of Pretty creates unique and affordable customized glitter dipped wine glasses, coffee mugs & mason jar tumblers. Treat yo’ self or someone you love this Valentine’s Day, by purchasing through their website or contacting them via social to arrange a custom order.

www.facebook.com/acupofpretty
www.acupofpretty.com
www.instagram.com/cupofpretty

PICKET FENCE HANDMADE

Our home décor company that is affiliated with this blog specializes in unique, whimsical and humorous wood signs. You can shop directly through our Etsy shop and keep up to date with us on social media. Check out our line of free-standing decorative mini wood blocks made for all seasons and styles; there’s a few Valentine’s Day themed blocks left in our Etsy shop!

facebook.com/picketfencehandmade
Instagram.com/picketfencehandmade
etsy.com/shop/picketfencehandmade

BORDER CITY PRINTS

Border City Prints is a home-based, Health Canada approved provider of bath products that are fun and skin safe. They are offering adorable gift boxes for Valentine’s Day featuring themed bath bombs that look good enough to eat- contact them through Facebook to order.

www.facebook.com/bordercityprints
www.instagram.com/bordercityprints

URBAN ART MARKET


Your one stop shop for EVERYTHING handmade, with Valentine gifts to suit a variety of tastes made by over 30 local artisans. Pottery, jewelry, knitwear, wood signs and stationary are just a few of the amazing items they have to offer. Located at 548 Chilver Rd in the heart of Walkerville.

www.instagram.com/urbanartmarket
www.facebook.com/urbanartmarket

CHAR ELLE DESIGNS

Char Elle designs is a line of fashion forward women’s handmade and custom clothing designed and produced in Windsor, Ontario. Shop online or at their boutique located at 4651 Tecumseh Rd East. Check out these chic and sophisticated red pieces for Valentine’s Day, that jumpsuit and pencil skirt is giving us allll the heart eyes!

www.facebook.com/CharelleDesigns
www.charelle-designs.com
www.instagram.com/charelledesigns

❤Indulge
Whether it’s a gift card to a local restaurant, a Valentine’s Day dinner or something decadent to tempt the sweet tooth, it’s all here!

DENALI CHOCOLATES

Denali Chocolates is a local home-based business that is committed to providing you with the most stunning gourmet chocolate dipped strawberry platters, towers and customizable gift boxes for your special events. We have never seen strawberries look quite like this before; their beautiful tower of roses and chocolate covered strawberries is almost too pretty to eat! Contact them to order in time for Valentine’s Day.

www.facebook.com/Denali-Chocolates
www.instagram.com/denali_chocolates
Denalichocolates@gmail.com

KRISTY’S CUSTOM CAKES

Check out these adorable (and affordable!) Valentine’s gift boxes and baskets made by Kristy’s Custom Cakes, a home-based cake decorating business based out of McGregor.
Kristy’s provides custom cakes for all occasions; birthdays, Weddings, Showers, or Just Because. Contact via Facebook to order!

www.facebook.com/kristycakes15/
www.instagram.com/kristyscustomcakes
www.kristyscustomcakes.com

CARROTS N’ DATES

Are you even living in the #yqg if you haven’t been to Carrots N’ Dates yet? This raw, vegan café now has 2 locations to serve you-one in Walkerville and one in Tecumseh! Square Gift Cards can be purchased online from the comfort of your home, and Valentine’s themed gift cards are available if you want to send a loved one something special this upcoming holiday.

Ordering Square Gift Cards Link
www.facebook.com/carrotsndateswalkerville
www.carrotsndates.com
1090 Wyandotte St E in Windsor Phone: 519-962-5115
1125 Lesperance Rd. in Tecumseh Phone: 519-735-0447

HEALTHY MAMA

Why not treat him or her to a delicious 5-course plant-based Valentine’s Day dinner at Healthy Mama restaurant? This is a special set dinner menu that is 100% plant-based and gluten-free with limited spots, so call or email to reserve now. Healthy Mama also offers gift cards and has a retail shoppe filled with delicious products for the health conscious person in your life.

www.healthy-mama.com
info@healthy-mama.com
www.instagram.com/healthymama_food
www.facebook.com/healthymamafood
152 Lesperance rd.
Tecumseh, Ontario
519-956-9467

SUGAR SPOON BAKE SHOP

Specializing in classic and European baked goods and sweets, Sugar Spoon Bake shop is offering a special Valentine’s Day Menu as well as in-store grab and go Valentine themed treats through February 7th-14th. Order now via phone or online, or stop in and admire their gorgeous storefront.

3131 Forest Glade Drive
www.sugarspoonbakeshop.com
https://www.facebook.com/Sugar-Spoon-Bake-Shop-1782793818654491/
www.instagram.com/sugarspoonbakeshop
(519) 956-8484

❤Gifts for him
Treat him to something he will appreciate this Valentine’s Day, with dude-approved ideas for every budget.

WALKERVILLE BREWERY

It’s no secret that we just LOVE the Walkerville Brewery, and this Valentine’s Day you can purchase the perfect gift from their retail shoppe, or fridge. Fill up your Growlers (64 Oz.) and Stubbies (32 Oz.) with your favorite Walkerville beer, or pick up a Valentine’s Day themed gift pack featuring local craft beer. Their featured Gift Package is only $15 and includes: 1 x 750ml Bottle of RIS, 2 x pint glasses and comes gift wrapped w/ Be(er) Mine Valentine tag.

525 Argyle Rd, Windsor
www.walkervillebrewery.com
https://www.facebook.com/walkervillebrewery/

BENT ART & ACCESSORIES

Bent Art and Accessories offers beautiful eco-friendly wood accessories, bbq scrapers, dinnerware, cheeseboards and more, at affordable prices. Are you still searching for that unique gift for him? Their barn wood belt buckles are hand crafted with 115+ year old barn wood and reclaimed hardware and are available in their Etsy Shop and at the Urban Art Market store. Wood BBQ scrapers are another great choice for the grillin’ guy or gal in your life.

https://www.facebook.com/bentartaccessories
bentartaccessories.etsy.com
www.instagram.com/bentartaccessories

❤Gifts for the kids ❤

HOLLY POP KIDS

Dress your little ones in ahhh-dor-able fashion forward Valentine’s Day threads from Holly Pop Kids, an online and home-based boutique. Free local pickup is available, just shop online at the link below, but hurry, clothes this cute and affordable don’t last long.

www.hollypopkids.com
www.facebook.com/hollypopkids
Instagram.com/hollypopkids

 

❤And don’t forget the pets! ❤
Because fur babes need love too

FLUFF PETCARE

Fluff’s entire line of pet products is inspired by a love of animals, and most products are dual-purpose or interactive, meaning they are safe for both you and your fluffy friend. A portion of proceeds from some of their Valentine’s Day products goes to the Windsor Humane Society, so you can feel good about purchasing local and giving back at the same time. Check out their Valentine themed gifts in their Etsy shop, including downloadable pet Valentine’s and Cat Nip pom poms. Locals use code WINDSORSHIP to omit shipping charges.

www.instagram.com/fluff_petcare
www.facebook.com/fluffpetcare/
www.fluffpetcare.com/
www.etsy.com/shop/fluffpetcare

BONZAI GIFTS BY PET NANNY

Treat your pets to a gift pack by Bonzai Gifts by Pet Nanny, a local home-based business catering to your fur babies. Valentine’s Kitty Packs include a collar of your choice, 2 toys of your choice, and an XS cat bandana for only $20. The Doggy Bag contains a plush squeaky toy, medium bandana, 3/4″ collar of your choice and paw wax for only $45. You can shop directly from their Etsy shop or contact them for more information.

www.facebook.com/BonzaiGiftsbyPetNanny/
www.instagram.com/www.facebook.com/BonzaiGiftsbyPetNanny/
www.etsy.com/shop/bonzaigiftsbypetnanny

❤Share the love!❤
Brb, currently ordering everything on this list right now. If you are a local business and you are offering a Valentine’s Day themed gift or service that you want to share, we would love to hear about it! Feel free to post a link to your business or product in the blog comments or on this post on Instagram and help share the love for local. Thank you for supporting our YQG community, and don’t forget to subscribe to the blog and follow our Instagram pages.

Xo,
Stacey

Myths about Women Who Wear Makeup

Let’s just cut to the chase and debunk some myths about women who regularly wear makeup once and for all, because it’s 2018 and women need to start worrying more about having each other’s backs and less about what’s on each other’s faces. Mmkay?

MYTHS

They aren’t comfortable or happy with themselves

Most women who wear makeup have no problem with the way their face looks without makeup, they just prefer a face with some contour and a nice set of brows (and highlighter, lashes, concealer, lipstick, and eyeshadow.)

They are naturally drawn to color and the art of makeup itself, it captures their eye and excites them. Or maybe they just prefer not having bags under their eyes and revealing that their eyebrows never fully recovered from over plucking in the 90’s

It may sound strange to non-makeup wearers, but people who wear makeup actually tend to feel more like themselves with their makeup on.

Putting on makeup is a little like getting out of your pj’s and putting on something that makes you feel fabulous. Sure, the pj’s are comfy as hell and you want to live in them forever, but let’s be honest, all you gonna be doin’ in them jammies is snackin’ and neflixin’ girl.  When you put on something that makes you feel amazing you will be channeling your inner Beyoncé.

Image result for beyonce run the world video giphy

Acne sufferers or people with skin issues may feel a bit more confident with some foundation on, but it doesn’t mean they don’t love themselves without it.  And honey, what’s wrong with being confident.. uh uh ah?

Image result for what's wrong with being confident gif

They are doing it to attract men

OH GIRL NO, NO, NO.  I don’t have formal statistics on how many men say they prefer women who don’t wear makeup, but based on my travels through the interweb and life, I can conclude that men generally have no clue what not wearing makeup actually looks like, in spite of the fact that they say they prefer less makeup or none at all. So, that would defeat the purpose of wearing it for men, yes? The women I know who wear makeup, do it for themselves, because they enjoy it. Period.

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They are shallow, stuck up, vain, or {insert other negative connotation associated with wearing makeup here}

Um. This one is my favorite, because I feel like all logic goes out the window when people make these kind of assumptions. Newsflash people, a woman can be the SAME exact person whether she is wearing a face full of makeup or not. What??! YUP!

Are some women shallow, stuck up or vain? Probably. Do all of them wear a full face of makeup every day? NOPE.

I don’t think it should be considered a sin to care about your appearance, nor does it indicate that you are not caring about other causes, issues, people or things. You can look good and still do good. Similarly, you can care less about your appearance and be a shitty human. One is not synonymous with the other. Some of the most down-to-earth and real people wear makeup, and some of the biggest fake a-holes do not.

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They really want you to tell them they look better without makeup

Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop telling women who wear makeup that they look better without it or that they don’t need it. STAHPPP. First of all, that’s not a compliment, it’s a judgement, and secondly, it’s not going to change the fact that they wear it.  Once again, they are not wearing it for you and your idea of what is aesthetically pleasing.

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They woke up like this

No, they most certainly did not. Nor do they sit around in their house daily wearing  a full face of makeup, contrary to what you might believe. If you only see them post pictures of themselves when they are wearing makeup, that’s just how they prefer to be seen. We don’t see Gwen Stefani without her glammed out face on do we? No, because that’s how she identifies herself and that’s obviously how she feels her best. And she’s fierce AF.

Image result for gwen stefani meme

They want your approval

Obviously if they wanted your approval they wouldn’t be wearing makeup, because obviously that’s what you’re telling them you approve of.  Obviously.

True story; I haven’t heard women who wear makeup judging those who don’t. Sure they may look at your bare visage and think about how some mascara would really make your pretty eyes pop, and how your lips and coloring are perfect for the newest shade of MAC lipstick, but they aren’t going to tell you that you need it, or that you would look so much better with it on, because that would just be rude, right? Right.

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